I could grow to hate books. A strange thing for a writer to say but hear me out.
Most of the time I love them. Of course I do. It’s only during the weekly house clean that love turns to hate. Books are heavy, especially the gargantuan tomes bought by my husband. Constantly lifting them off the floor, so that I can run a hoover over the carpet, is a pain. Literally.
There are numerous ...
Are we there yet?
When my husband emerged from the Ísafjördur tourist office waving a detailed hiking map of the Westfjords, my heart sank. When it comes to choosing a walk, we have very different views. I believe in knowing your limits and sticking to them; my husband (the one I vowed NEVER to go walking with again!) prefers to push the limits.
We studied the map ...
A dishevelled blackbird has taken up residence in my garden.
Blackbirds are renowned for their sleek, ink-black plumage. This bird’s feathers are grubby and matted. Sticking out at odd angles, they look as if they’ve been plucked from his body and randomly glued back on again. We’ve named him Boris.
Two blackbirds seen together bring good luck, according to folklore. That should have ...
‘The scissor sharpening man is in today,’ said Heidi, my hairdresser. There was a feverish look of excitement in her eyes as she scooped up her scissors and dashed out the door - she didn’t want to miss her turn with him. I ordered a coffee … and waited.
Ten minutes later she returned with a huge smile on her face, cradling the precious scissors in her hands. She held them up to the light ...
Today is Divorce Monday I tell my husband.
‘What does that mean?’ he asks, eyeing me warily.
I explain that the first working Monday following the Christmas break is when most parting couples begin divorce proceedings. He needn’t worry. I have no hidden agenda. It’s just an article in the paper that’s caught my eye.
But it obviously gets him thinking. ‘Why do you suppose we’ve ...
It’s lashing down with rain when I spot a man with an orange flag striding across the field behind my house. A black Labrador is loping alongside him, occasionally nose-diving into the long grass for a root around. The man takes on the air of someone slightly mad as he begins violently thrashing the ground with his flag. I eventually lose sight of him as he heads off towards a large copse of trees ...
A firepit sounded like a great idea.
At the end of a long summer’s day, as the air begins to cool, we could still be outdoors. We’d have the glow of our fire and a canopy of stars to keep us company. In the Autumn, we’d wrap up warm and cosy up next to the flames. We could toast marshmallows. I’ve never toasted a marshmallow in my life but I love the idea of it.
‘Is it meant to do ...
I was about to enter the park near my house when I spotted the dog. Taut and muscular: the type that looks as if it is permanently primed for a fight.
The dog’s female owner was giving chase, trying to grab hold of its neck with one hand and waving a lead in the other. The dog suddenly stopped and locked its eyes on me. Oh crap! What do I do now?
I stood very, very still. Good decision. ...
Picture the scene. A small harbour restaurant in the south of France. A nervous young waiter.
It is clearly his first day and he is visibly trembling as he approaches my table. He says he’d like to present me with an amooth booth. ‘Pardon?’ I ask, looking puzzled. He repeats what he’s just said. It is only then that I notice his lisp. I realise he’s talking about an amuse bouche, a small ...
Do you give your departing house guests a rating on a scale of one to five? I hope you said no to that, otherwise what kind of weirdo host are you?
What about a paying guest? Me, for instance. Say I’m renting your holiday apartment for a week. I’m there to chill out and unwind. The last thing I’m expecting is to be conscripted into a popularity contest. Yet bizarrely I was.
Earlier ...
I spent last week on the island of Skye. It was lovely, apart from the wind. Sorry, I mean breeze.
Skye is a glorious place to visit. The food is great, the people are friendly and the scenery is stunning. It’s also a wind-free zone, if the local weather report is to be believed. I checked the forecast every morning. There was always a mention of a breeze - a light breeze, a breeze or a ...
